I was inspired to write this blog because I found myself in a group of one – so far. The basic facts are:
- I’m fifty years old, almost fifty-one
- I have one child, a daughter
- My daughter is six years old, almost seven
- She was born in the U.S.
- We adopted her at birth
- We have an open adoption
- I was 44 when we adopted her
- It didn’t seem that old at the time
- “We” refers to my husband and me
- “We’re” still married
- We wanted another child
- It didn’t work out
- I’m still grieving
- I grieve having only one child more than I grieve about infertility
- I grieve more for my daughter than for me
- I still grieve about infertility
- I love my daughter more than life itself
- My life was completely redefined when I became a mom
- Sometimes I want my old life back
- Not very often
Contact me here: ann at vintagemommy dot com
September 20th, 2008 at 10:40 am
[...] About Vintage Mommy vintage (vin’tij): characterized by excellence, maturity and enduring appeal; classic [...]
September 22nd, 2008 at 10:00 am
I was just about to turn 39 when my son was born and had no idea I was OLD. He’s our only child and I grieve a bit for that sometimes too. There are some wonderful things about being an only child too and I do my best to remember them.
The Other Lauras last blog post..Something Amazing and Full of Hope
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Laura: Yeah, the age thing didn’t hit me full-force until VG started school. I think I need to make a list of wonderful things about being an only child; any suggestions??
Vintage Mommys last blog post..Just the Facts: About Vintage Mommy
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:09 am
Nice about the list, only I wouldn’t grieve for your daughter that she is an only child. I have 3, but the Little Lion is an only child. He is very happy, and the Lion, and the Mom have time and energy for him, whereas, I was exhausted trying to do right by 3. She will make her own ‘brothers and sisters’ as she grows anyway.
Urban Panthers last blog post..Go ahead, mock me!
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
@Panther: I can imagine the challenge of meeting the needs of three children. I’m glad Little Lion is thriving as an only child; I think VG is doing fine, but would love to have a sib.
Vintage Mommys last blog post..Just the Facts: About Vintage Mommy
September 24th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
“One Bag Nation” is that really you? I didn’t recognize you
But it’s good to see you here too. I’ll have to stop by and say hello again… 
Ricardo Buenos last blog post..The Rules of Engagement: building community around your blog
September 24th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
@Ricardo, yes! c’est moi. I’m leading a double life here on the internet. Thanks for stopping by!
Vintage Mommys last blog post..Volatile Vintage Girl
September 25th, 2008 at 6:15 am
Hey Vintage Mommy!
I know how it feels to seem to have no family model such as your own, although my situation is about as different as you can get! I am a 25 year old white woman who lives in KY and just had a biracial baby out of wedlock with a man (my partner) who has two children from a previous marriage. I started my blog with a focus on unconventional families because there are so many of us out there and it is nice to feel a connection to other families who do not fit the typical mold.
Love the blog! I hope you find your blogging soul mate
On the site Anti-Racist Parents there are a ton of readers who have adopted so you might find someone with a similar situation over there!
Lucies last blog post..Reader Survey – Please oh Please Respond!
September 25th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Hi Lucie: I think I landed on your blog a while back, maybe via simplemom. You are also in a unique situation, so we do have that in common! I’m glad you like the blog; I’ll be visiting yours and will also check out Anti-Racist Parents. Thanks for commenting!
Vintage Mommys last blog post..Volatile Vintage Girl
October 28th, 2008 at 9:00 am
[...] had hoped to get a lot done today, but Vintage Girl is home sick with a fever, so I’ll have to tackle it another day. I know, most kids would [...]
October 29th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I just found your blog through simplemom. I am so moved by your about vintage mommy list. I am an adopted child with one 2 year old biological son, who wants to have another child and is quickly becoming an older mommy. As an adopted child who had fertility help I struggle with feelings of guilt over wanting to have another biological child.
And when I read your last four points I said “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” That is exactly how I feel about my son and my life now. I look forward to returning often. Thanks!
October 29th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Hi Lori: thank you so much for your comment. Gosh, life is just so complicated, isn’t it? I think I had some guilt about my broken heart b/c my husband was also adopted. At some point his stance was “what’s the big deal”?
I do hope you’ll come back, and please keep me posted on how you’re doing. Regardless of our different experiences, those of us touched in any way by infertility and/or adoption seem to be natural “soulmates”.
Vintage Mommys last blog post..Only Children: Lucky or Lonely?
November 11th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
[...] Vintage Daddy took two loads of stuff to the dump, as well as a load we donated to Value Village. We have one more pile that we’re taking to an organization that serves homeless families, and we need to hire someone to haul away an ancient (and enormous) freezer and an equally ancient rowing machine someone gave us ages ago. [...]
November 24th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
[...] About Vintage Mommy [...]
November 25th, 2008 at 5:01 am
I have been looking for a blog like yours. Glad to be here. Came from ICLW.
January 5th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
[...] About Vintage Mommy [...]
January 19th, 2009 at 7:56 am
I just wanted to say thank you…. for your honesty… I’m actually a little speechless and that’s a rarity.
I’m not your soul-sister, but I can certainly relate to some of your feelings/thoughts.
Daisy
Daisys last blog post..Battlestar… 11 hours to go